LOL - Fishing Humor
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How to change a number 1 into a number 2
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Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you.
Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful.
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Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you.
Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful.
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Fish and Chips
One day while driving home from his fishing trip in the pouring rain, a man got a flat tire outside a monastery. A monk came out and invited him inside to have dinner and spend the night. The motorist accepted. That night he had a wonderful dinner of fish and chips. He decided to compliment the chef. Entering the kitchen, he asked the cook, "Are you the fish friar?" "No," the man replied, "I'm the chip monk."
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Fish and Chips
One day while driving home from his fishing trip in the pouring rain, a man got a flat tire outside a monastery. A monk came out and invited him inside to have dinner and spend the night. The motorist accepted. That night he had a wonderful dinner of fish and chips. He decided to compliment the chef. Entering the kitchen, he asked the cook, "Are you the fish friar?" "No," the man replied, "I'm the chip monk."
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A world renowned neurologist is giving a seminar to a group of doctors about involuntary muscular contractions. He goes on to explain that there are many muscles in our body are reacting involuntarily of each other and without us even knowing. He senses the class is becoming bored with his speech, so he tries to lighten it up a bit by asking a woman doctor in the front row, “You probably have no idea what your asshole is doing every time you have an orgasm”. She smiled sheepishly and replied, “ I know exactly what he’s doing, he’s out fishing with his friends.”
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A world renowned neurologist is giving a seminar to a group of doctors about involuntary muscular contractions. He goes on to explain that there are many muscles in our body are reacting involuntarily of each other and without us even knowing. He senses the class is becoming bored with his speech, so he tries to lighten it up a bit by asking a woman doctor in the front row, “You probably have no idea what your asshole is doing every time you have an orgasm”. She smiled sheepishly and replied, “ I know exactly what he’s doing, he’s out fishing with his friends.”
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What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
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What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
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At some point in a guy's life.... it comes down to this.
Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Ron's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
"Shit Ron, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'" I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie.
She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom.. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes!
She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did. And then she said, "Do whatever you want."
So, Here I am..
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PET FISH
A redneck with a bucket full of live fish was approached recently by a game warden in Central Mississippi as he started to drive his boat away from a lake. The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?" "Naw, sir," replied the redneck. "I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish." "Pet fish?" "Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o'mine down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take 'em home." "What a line...you're under arrest." The redneck said, "It's the truth, Mr. Gov'ment Man. I'll show ya! We do this all the time!" "WE do, now, do WE?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!" The redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited.
After a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?" "Well, WHUT?" said the redneck. The warden asked, "When are you going to call them back?" "Call who back?" "The FISH," replied the warden! "Whut fish?" asked the redneck.
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PET FISH
A redneck with a bucket full of live fish was approached recently by a game warden in Central Mississippi as he started to drive his boat away from a lake. The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?" "Naw, sir," replied the redneck. "I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish." "Pet fish?" "Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o'mine down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take 'em home." "What a line...you're under arrest." The redneck said, "It's the truth, Mr. Gov'ment Man. I'll show ya! We do this all the time!" "WE do, now, do WE?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!" The redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited.
After a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?" "Well, WHUT?" said the redneck. The warden asked, "When are you going to call them back?" "Call who back?" "The FISH," replied the warden! "Whut fish?" asked the redneck.
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